But fucker Joe Biden decides NATO is not worth the RIO anymore

Joe Biden’s master plan to redecorate the White House!

Fuck up Joe Biden Fucks up America more, Book 1: Post I:
Joe Biden has said, World War is way too risky for us. So you Baltic states, if you cannot handle Putin’s aggression on your own, we won’t do that for you. Remember, America is not the world’s policeman. We cannot keep the peace everywhere. Remember, American lives are a stake. We do not want body bags coming back to America just to save a few Lithuanians when most Americans cannot even find your country on a map.

Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia: But we thought that the purpose of a NATO agreement was then when Russia became aggressive towards us, that you strong nations, the bulwark of the Treaty, would have our back? Isn’t that what NATO is for? Do NATO states have the option not to come to the defense of other NATO nations from outside attacks, particularly from Russia, the purpose behind NATO being that Russia was to be contained?

Joe Biden: Little people, you are overthinking. NATO is just a status symbol of our greatness. We pick and choose our battles. And when expendable NATO states get attacked and invaded, we let them go. Only if France, Canada, or Germany, or something that has wealth do we honor NATO agreements to.

Joe Biden: Now I just got off the phone with Putin, and I made it very clear, a lot of suffering will come about if he goes ahead with those dangerous plans of his. I think I talked some sense into the man. And I think he is just like my own son. He just needs to be sent to time out and work these things through in his mind. I expect him to reappear at the dinner table, and I think he is ready to apologize to the whole world and acknowledge my wisdom as the man of the family.

NATO general to Biden: Sir, we have a situation. I think you should get here to see it yourself.

Joe Biden: General, your purpose in life is to handle things by yourself. I am having a bubble bath and making love to my rubber ducky. So unless your concerns outweigh the pleasures of the POTUS, don’t fucking disturb my masturbation. You see it take a lot of skill and ingenuity to get my dead limb to its semi-rigid state. If I interrupt this to deal with assholes who I do not care if they live or die, I will lose this hard on. And you know how hard it is for old men my age to get it that hard. So deal with these things yourself. Amen.

General to the Western Front: Okay, we cannot launch nuclear weapons at this time. So we will have to let the nuclear missile strikes land where they will. How soon before the first American city gets demolished by the first nuclear warhead heading towards us?

Nuclear Weapons Sargent: Sir, with all due respect. The nuclear weapons are not directed towards cities but to nuclear launch sites. If we do not act now, we will not have a nuclear response to the nuclear attack that is made upon us.

President’s spokes lady: Sargent, I once discussed this very matter with the President one time, and we fully reasoned it out. If Russia, China, and North Korea were to suddenly launch all their weapons at us, we think for the interests of humanity long term that it would be best if we did not strike back, just so that at least Russia, China, and North Korea would not be destroyed.

You see, if at least part of the earth remains habitable, then maybe humanity can continue to exist. Doesn’t that make sense, military men? Isn’t the President looking far into the future?

Private first class: Golly Gee! I never thought of that! The POTUS is a genius! Let me announce the good news to all the world. The USA is turning the other cheek! We are Christians after all!

Suddenly everything goes black.

What’s that?

It must be an EMP.

What does that mean?

It means that if you are heavily invested in computers, that investment is gone.

I am not worried. I am covered. I got everything I own insured.

Actually the insurance companies got that covered too. They are not going to pay you one cent.

And why not, asshole?

Acts of war are in every insurance policy as something that they do not cover for boy!

Then who is going to pay for my shit loss, dude?

Look in the mirror, asshole. That motherfucker you see there is that dumb ass who will be paying for all this shit.

This is shit! How do I get my money out of the bank?

How do I get my crypto currency withdrawn?

How much time do we need to give the internet guys to get our internet back online?

It’s not coming back for you, assholes. It it comes back online it will be for military use only. If you had a crypto currency account, consider it permanently down. Nothing that drains electricity is ever coming back online. Amen.

Also, the dollar bill is killed. If you had dollars, throw them away, or use them for kindling fire. Nothing in dollars is available to buy anymore.

Hey, what was that?

Mushroom clouds!

Do not look at the flash!

Why?

It will blind you!

Ohh, what was that?

I feel as though I have been buried.

I feel like I am blackening out!

I am dead! Shit!

United States of America. R.I.P.
1776 to 2022
246 years of freedom.
Eternity in hell to pay for it.

Eric, the Angel of Death, wrote this
Epitaph.

Amen.

Published by

exemerald

Servant to Jesus and Mary, White Knight of the armies of Jesus and Blue Wizard Prophet King.

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