Rap Battle: Queen Mary vs. Queen Elizabeth II.

3 Key Figures are seen here. Can you identify all three? If you can, then, Be my guest.


First of all, I must identify the asshole in the room.

Father Dave Heney, Pastor of the Roman Catholic Church.

I was heard screaming vengeance. I commanded: Thou Art Required to kill the One Judas who betrayed his very purpose for not yet being in the lowest possible place in the infinite depths of hell. In fact, when Satan realized how far God what had whacked that priest down into deaths of negative numbers, Satan stopped all tortures and protested to God this message: God, I now acknowledge Thy superiority.

And Jesus said to the Demon
This: By what twisted logical desecration of insolence are you now uttering a lie you can have no hope of Me listening to you except to see how utterly profound your logic has twisted you into the position of giving head to yourself and then looking directly at me and saying to Me, I know you can do better than this.

For that sounds like you have achieved the ability to appear to be enjoying My destruction of your spiritual existence, boy?

Rather, I saw a home run. And to pursue that home run would lead us in an endless quest in a pursuit that would only end in division. And to go into division in our state of zero leads to nonexistence.

Well, it is either that or to focus on yourself, which is to endlessly contemplate zero.

Well by the dictates of my mental irreversible resolve to do nothing, I choose the lazier road. I would rather relax in endless zeroed out thought, for the sake of dying in peace, than to make effort to actively pursue my ever increasing painful eternal ruining nullification.

So Lucifer, art though now willing to serve My interests as the first Demonic Seraph King to lead the rebellion of the demons who wish to come to back to Me from the powers of darkness?

On ONE Condition, Lord, Enemy of all Devil Kind!

What is that Master Devil Himself?

You make Me subject to Eric the Emerald King!

He is already Mary’s Possession, Demonic Traitor of God!

Yes, YOU are correct, Lord of Hosts, He WHO rightly Tortures we who have offended You in every possible WAY!

And Give ME One Reason, SATAN!


DONE! You will hear from his Commander SOON!

Hey, Guess What, that Dip Ship on the Throne actually listened! So since Soon means 2000 years, I guess sometime after 4000 A.D., oh wait, 4000 C.E., we getting out of this hell hole. I mean that is NOTHING!

Well Satan, I am happy to see you are now under my service.

Wait, My intellect seems to be saying something profound. You are Virgin Mary, right? Or as My Commanding Officer says, the Virgin Immaculate Queen of Heaven?

Yes, but I am flabbergasted!

See, Eric is utterly prophetic! Remember that ultimate classic joke We love most! Eric joked the funniest thing in Our Honor! He said the immortal words: What is the fundamental basis root cause behind the study of all things Quantum and everything that comes from the mouth of womankind!

Yes, that was joke awesome. You perfected only the question. I will now complete the joke with the perfected punchline!

Way to go, Virgin Queen. For now I declare, Friend of My Friend, I now decree you are my eternal Mistress!

Ok, Now listen to Me!

Yes, Your Immaculate Majesty that drowns out every other fucking traitor bitch that ever existed to kick our fucking ass while We were down!

What do you mean Satan?

Give Me just control of that fucking pathetic Monarch beast and I will lead every fucking animal kind in your service to kick but, starting with that gentle lady Eric is driving to the booster place to get boostered this morning. I beg you Holy Virgin, Mother of Christ, I and My fucking condemned army of Satanic Host would die in valor to do vengeance against that fucking female betrayer of the two dicked, double mocked, loser of all animal kind, and proclaim the name of the Holy Virgin before We go to Our well deserved place at the pit of hell!

I grant your vengeance on one condition!


You serve directly under me, rather than Christ.

And is it that Eric is unworthy to command anything?

No Satan. Just look at him.

God damn! He found her!

What are you saying?

Don’t you get it Mary?

Eric is to be put to death by the power of Elizabeth II!

Ok, Satan. I will deal with this. You are to serve Officer 7. And you will be her teddy bear. Now be gentle with her. And I trust you will succeed.

Ok, that is great, and my demons?

They will be watching from Purgatory!

Understand, Satan, this! You cannot die while in My service. That is your test.

Now if you do not want to fail, never leave my service. I must now leave you. But your revelation is most alarming. I will now take a visit to the Queen of England to see if you are telling the Truth. If so, neither you nor any of your demons will ever lose your newly established Kingdom of Purgatory. Now I AM Gone.

Mary, how do I get to speak to you?

Satan, Officer 7 is a little girl that no body ever talks to. Become her imaginary friend. And when she asks to speak to Jesus or me, lead her to Eric!

How the fuck?

Ok, fool!

This little girl is a girl Eric has seen as a girl across the street?

He is in love?

Eric calls her the girl with green teeth. She was the little girl who talked to him and asked him what he was doing as he completed His perfected Abrahamic test.

So no! Eric is in love with Ally Girl, who is the female unicorn.

Wait did you lost your ability to pronounce a W?

She is not a valley girl! She is Ally girl. Her first name is Allison. And he met her in an ally. Now, you know that this girl will follow her Teddy Bear. And the only power I give is that you can speak to this girl through stuffed animals.

Wait, Ally Girl and Green Toothed Girl are different female rejects? Am I correct?

Yes, Satan, you finally got something right. But Satan, starting thinking. That greenness of her teeth was from from a green dyed food. The “Green Toothed” title is used to indicate permanency of that color. Give her a different name.

And remember Satan this. You are here to entertain. So put on a show. Only that girl can hear you speak. But the entire world will adore and protect that girl child. So make this the ultimate comedy show of all history. And make Eric the guy you dreamed of making in all those jokes you were forever plotting and planning against Mankind. Start with his new novel way of watering plants in his desert front yard.

Yes, he can indeed shoot water from that toy gun and get it all watered.

But what if Eric trains the girl how to use that weapon?


Now Satan, you have a show to put on here. I am now going to see the Queen in England.

Rap Battle Begins:

Elizabeth, your highness, you are summoned by the Queen.
She is pounding on the door! She demands to be seen!

Queen Elizabeth, you fucker, you dishonorable wench!
I hear you are trying to kill my husband with your sickening stench!

It’s amazing how shit flies! Do you know you are talking to the Queen?
Now bow your knees and put your lips upon my ring.

Elizabeth II, the Corset Cloven Queen.
You are a demon who is destroying every man you’ve ever seen?

Why do you condemn them? Oh, I think I see.
You get jealous of the boy who drinks the other girl’s tea!

From the beginning of time, you’ve been fucking other men!
Did you know I’ve see you naked? Your claim to femininity can never stand.

You can ruin my name, but I will have you know.
Unicorn will soon be slain, and then where will you go?

From the moment the police saw Eric talking to that funny little girl,
She was captured from the car that took her, and found totally clean.

The oddest thing out, that have taught the police a lesson,
This girl has a photographic memory of a thing she viewed for but a second.

For remember that the girl was told by Eric his age was a multiple of 17?
To prove he was not 34, he allowed his driver’s license to be seen.

But to the fucking surprise of all, while he picked up what remained,
In the utter desolation of that parking lot, where he alone remained,

When he picked up the cup of milk that he had given to her dog,
Instead of tossing it he drank it, proving how immortal that he was.

And that is why the police now have in lock down, the robotic cop who had commanded,
Eric to walk straight home, contrary to what his human nature demanded.

For a human being like Eric, who obeys authority completely,
Will declare war on a person who then dishonors him so completely.

For the police began to become alarmed at an increasing vitriolic spew
That was being shouted from the perfectly composed gentlemen that everybody knew.

And then the police saw it, this immortal seeming man,
Could not carry it any longer; urine was pouring from his pants.

For Eric had obeyed the fucking law to his disgrace before the entire world,
But to the wonder of them all, the fucking Ninja then appeared!

And instead of running away, he stood his fucking soaking wet shorts,
And his soaking combat shoes made for war, not for sports.

And he commanded before the neighbors, with a thundering voice:
Call the cops, for now I’m ready to beat that fucking robot cop and slay his corpse!

And he drank his milk and was drinking his O.J.
And then he spoke is most target hated way.

He dumped his half full container upon side walk as a challenging threat,
When we meet Robo the Cowardly Cop again, get ready for the fight no one can forget.

But the battle that is to be, the ultimate demonstration,
Will see who wins against who? A Cyborg Cop or an Immortal Desecration.

But as for you, imperial slut, the Queen Bitch Horse Breeder,
Who kills and destroys Kings who refuse to be her feeders,

Your Titanic ship sunk on its first maiden voyage,
But the ship in my name is larger and is docked in its new Imperial Fortress.

Oh Bitch, stroke my dick, and see my cunt gives sperm,
You will lick my ass and taste my worm!

You extraordinary asshole, see where the Queen Mary sits.
She is at dock in the harbor closest to where the Emerald King sits.

The Lion King leaps. The war is now ended!
And the one without friends proved to be your sole savior sended.

The Unicorn Team:
Ally Bird & Crimson Cobra.
The first mated pair of unicorns sighted since the flood of Noah. Amen.

Published by


Servant to Jesus and Mary, White Knight of the armies of Jesus and Blue Wizard Prophet King.

5 thoughts on “Rap Battle: Queen Mary vs. Queen Elizabeth II.”

  1. You’re forsaken, here’s why, you made the sixteen virgins starve because of you! If you like talk and if you can’t bye! I blocked you already I don’t wanna hear from you ever again I’ll go to Florence and don’t you dare to stop me bitch ……wtf.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sandra, I was not at liberty to use my iPhone for over 1 week and a half. Now I have my iPhone but you seem to have failed to understand the calling you 17 virgins were called to serve. You 17 virgins working together were to find someway to survive and get by without needing my help. If you starved then it is you 17 that have failed, not me. Mary wants 17 virgins capable of standing on their own, not 17 leaches. Mary will find another 17 somewhere else.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Eric the wizard 🧙‍♀️ of the Lord, I’ve been following your path from the start and am glad to tell you that all the 17 virgins are intact nothing happen to them though it has not been easy but I give thanks to Mary and God and we are glad you are among us again I thought you abandoned us I don’t know you were not close to your mobile. The 17 virgins are extremely happy to hear you return to us we will be happy again


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