Chronicles of Eternity, Book 3: Post XXX:
Hello peoples of this world. Allow me to make an announcement. Mary, please speak through me to address all the questions the people may have, including me, your warlock. Amen.
I am honored to speak here by my Warlock. He looks harmless. But he has it where it counts. Do not go up against him. He is the most powerful magic user there is. Doubt me? Then let us look at the various magic users in Dungeons & Dragons:
Before Eric became my Warlock, he was a Wizard. Hence, he has mastery of both. Now according to Dungeons & Dragons lore, good and lawful warlocks are quite rare due to the “fact” that the patrons these warlocks require tend to be evil in some sort or manner, due to all being creatures known as Eldritch Beings.
Now, looking at the definition of the Eldritch Being, I the Holy Virgin Mary, do indeed qualify. And if it requires an embodied human being then I am that also, for I alone among heavenly human kind have been assumed up to heaven. But if embodiment is not required to serve as an Eldritch Being patron for a warlock, then many may be eligible to be this.
But I have the correct knowledge from the Father. For these works will never speculate without showing the answer from God.
Eric, I AM WHO AM. And I will now answer your question. All Warlocks but you have been destroyed. For only the warlock that had Mary as his patron is worthy of life. Note also what you are: You are two classes in one: Wizard and Warlock.
Furthermore, you have agreed with Mary that she is your only wife. Only Mary, and perhaps her servants, as she elects, shall ever lay with you.
Recall the other two promises and We shall give to you your blessing, lord Eric.
Lord, I cannot remember. They do not come to mind.
Eric, these are what you have agreed to: You have agreed that all our money we have in common in marriage. And you have greed to strip naked with me whenever and wherever I wish to have sex with you.
Yes, I agree to do this for you, O’ Blessed Virgin Mary, because you are the Blessed Virgin and I have come to trust in everything you say.
Good, this is my blessing to you. Remember this, for to forget this blessing, you shall die.
I bless you Eric with unnaturally long life. You will age like wine. And you shall remain the virgin White Knight forever.
Our marriage takes place in heaven. For that is where I live. And that is where I will bring you to every time I wish to be intimate with you. Every child that I have by you shall be examined. If she is a girl, she will enter the Kingdom as I am, an embodied human being. And if he is a male, he shall be given to you, Eric, after he has been weaned. Amen. These men will all have unnaturally long life. And they will reboot when knocked out. And they will resurrect when put to death. I AM the Lord. Amen. In other words, they cannot be destroyed.
Eventually, the descendants of Eric will wipe out all other male lineages. This is how Eric takes over the earth. Amen.
And, O’ Lord, what becomes of the fungi controlled earth? The fungi come to control everything. And the alien intelligence then becomes apparent.
Remember that the two earths do not separate in space so much as by the dissolution of the two planes of existence between them: the physical plane and the astral plane. Amen. This post is now complete. Publish it, lord Eric, for it is complete. Amen.