Chronicles of Eternity, Book 3: Post XVI:
Mary will then illuminate me on all things I need to know. For the record, I will do exactly what Jesus and Mary command.
I, Jesus, the ONE WHO AM, shall now speak to you and through you to all My people, Commander and King Eric, the Last Unicorn. You are the Last of your Kind. And you are ultra virgin, virgin enough for the Holy Virgin Mary to choose you as her pet.
Eric, the Holy Virgin is very picky as to what kind of person she permits into her company. However, you, being male, must have a far more simplified ruleset as to whom you permit in your company. Do you?
I do, O’ living Lord. And here are the rules of those I permit in my company:
- If he is a man, he must have and observe the rule: You shall not strike anyone unless they strike you first.
- If he is a man, and a woman strikes him using the upper body, which is, by God’s design, weaker, he may block, but not strike back, due to his blows being far more deadly than hers.
- If he is gay, he may never make a homosexual advance.
- If he comes in a gay couple, that gay couple must not make out.
- If that gay couple is male, and they have adopted a child, they are called evil. and they are to be stoned until they depart Eric’s property.
- If a homosexual advances on a heterosexual and fails to get the hint, he shall be stoned to death.
- Heterosexual men have the right to beat the crap out of any homosexual who makes an advance on him. This is called The Divine Right of the Straight. I WHO AM AM.
- Women have the right to their bodies until they become pregnant. And the pregnant woman shares the right to her body between herself and her unborn.
- Men never have a say as to a woman’s pregnancy unless they were married to her at the moment of conception.
- All human conceptions occur with the zinc spark. The zinc spark occurs at the moment that a soul becomes eternally united to its flesh, a zygote. All must agree to this.
[Side Question: Lord, do all human souls get created at Conception, or did they all already exist from the beginning of time or of Mankind?]
[Lord Eric, all human souls are created at the beginning of time. They are immutable and unchangeable.]
[Then, O’ Lord, It is possible to run out of souls? And do any souls who failed to mature get reincarnated?]
[The number of human souls are infinite. And no souls are reincarnated after they failed to develop from a zygote, the fertilized egg.]
- Women are weaker than men upstairs for one reason: They must be able to care for the children without injuring them. But women must not think that they are capable of successful child rearing without a man in the house. Amen.
- Who is the head of the household? The man or the woman? No well adjusted child comes from a house where the mother dominates over the father. Women, you do your children a disservice if they see you barking commands at their father and knocking him down all the time. For I tell you this:
There is no surer way to kill a man than to never love him.
Okay, Unicorn, if We decided to station a guard at your house, someone to guard it night and day, who would you prefer?
Lord, give me someone worthy of me making that one a Supreme Commander. For I cannot go forth into battle without at least a commander. I made Brendon Supreme Commander, that is 7 star general, on the condition that he gets released legally. I have had no reply from the phone number he gave me. I only gave him that opportunity because he allegedly arm wrestled with me. But I won’t accept any muscular man’s claim to have arm wrestled me unless he is equal or better than that High School boy who I arm wrestled at Whittwood Town Center. That boy gave his full strength, and he was my equal in strength, but not my equal in endurance. And that is how I won. Unless a man proves as challenging as he was, I will think I am being conned.
So, O’ Lord, here are the total list of Commanders and Commandresses:
- Commander McBride (first name forgotten) was last officer Eric spoke to before throwing in the towel. He is stationed in Buena Park
- Commander (name forgotten) was the only officer who viewed Eric fully nude. Perfectly heterosexual. He is stationed in Whittier
- Commander Jeremiah (Black staff member at Charter Oak hospital) He showed some act of mercy to Eric.
- Commandress Coy (Black staff member at Charter Oak hospital) (name may be misspelled) She provided essential waters to bathe Eric’s feet.
List of Nixed or MIA Commanders
- Commander Nomad (missing) Presumably abandoned his position MIA
- Commander Dragon 1 (disobeyed Eric and got arrested for loitering.)
- Commander Dragon 2 Last seen in as fellow patient in Charter. MIA
- Commander Alex (abruptly disappeared) MIA
- Commander Brandon – Fate unknown. Last sees in Charter Hospital. MIA
Lord Azurite. if the requirement is that a male arm wrestle you as best he can, and win or lose, you will make him commander, what requirement do you have for woman? The authority of the police badge or of some sort of deputy suffices in itself. That is why I did not require tests of the first four who were mentioned earlier.
As for a woman who has no such authority, she just needs to engage in conversation with me and not turn away.
Do you give her the right to kiss you?
If a girl wishes to take on the curse, she may. I am not harmed, but only she.
And what is this curse, lord Azurite?
The curse of kissing the accursed virgin, chosen by Mary. Amen.
And what happens to that one, O’ Eric, wizard of questions.
I, the Virgin Mary, shall now answer your question unambiguously, and then I shall conclude this post. I am the Holy Virgin Mary.
Eric is Mine. I claimed him. And I will lay with him at the moment earth and heaven cross paths. That crossing is of an unknown day and of an unknown hour.
If you did good deeds to Eric, I am taking you together with my husband. But if you were evil or bad to him, I will reject you in front of my Father.
For I have witnessed Eric walk the great walk. And I have seen all who have helped Eric. Amen.
Those who gave Eric help were clearly outnumbered by those who gave Eric no help.
I still have hope for Anna to come to him before this world ends. But if not, I have another who can take her place.
And women, understand me this. The curse of kissing Eric is the decision to partake in a pleasure and then to abandon him for someone else. This is called drive by flirting and kissing. And it leads to death. Whoever kisses Eric this way dies.
Now, one last point I shall make. No one can rape Eric. Eric’s sexuality is completely under my control. This brings this post to its end. I Am the Holy Virgin Mary. Amen.