Chronicles of Eternity, Book 2: Post VII:
First Order of Business of Eric, Son of Jesus.
Folks, We are not going to discuss one thing until I first do an advertisement. And I want you to know, I will receive nothing from this advertisement. And I will now tell you one more thing. The company I am about to do an advertisement for, they are totally unaware of this. They made no request for it. And so they can consider this advertisement as my way of paying them for their excellent service. For after I had eaten their wondeful meal of Carne Asada, and for the record, this was in fact the first time I ever tasted this very common Mexican delicacy in my 51 years on planet earth, a full meal of delicious roast beef, delicious heap of beans, and a delicious, perfectly cooked fried brown rice. And there were certain other things on that plate. This included a fully fresh, exquisitely delicious slice of tomato. There was some curved vegetable there. Whatever it was, it was delicious, and it did not make my mouth to require water. And all I paid for this was a mere $14, and some cents.
Now, after this meal, while drinking that cup of water, perfectly cooled with abundant ice, I approached that most wonderful and charming woman who served me my food. And I was prepared to give her whatever tip she asked. And I do not know how this tip system really works. But I do know that no tip ever exceeds 10%.
So 10% of $14.99 is a tip of $1.50. And I went up to this waitress, or whatever title they have, and I said, so what do I pay as your tip? And this woman said to me, “We don’t take tips.” Well if she ever sees this advertisement, let this be my response. “Ma’am, I fully respect you in your decision not to take a tip from me. But I never fail to repay any person who does me a good deed.”
And so, I recommend this store to anyone who wants to take a taste of Carne Asada. It does not matter whether you speak only English or only Spanish, they will know what you want. And this is their location:
7203 Greenleaf Ave #A
Whittier, Ca. 90602
And if they ask who referred you, just say, his name was Eric, and he was the one who told you that that Carne Asada you served him there was the first time he ever ate Carne Asada
Now, just what is Carne Asada, you English speaking people may rightly wish to know. In fact I never saw this word ever except in my books which I was often busy reading and studying in order to master Spanish.
So let me explain you exactly what Carne Asada means.
Carne is the Spanish word for meat.
Asada is the Spanish word for grilled.
So Carne Asada literally means: meat grilled, and this what I ate appeared to me as roasted beef.
Furthermore, Carne Asada literally translates to meat grilled.
And this is your Spanish lesson for today folks. This is the conclusion of the advertisement here.
And let it be known, Emeralogy receives absolutely not one cent for any advertisements you might find anywhere in this entire website. I AM ERIC.
Good, now let’s get some major news.
I went to that Church called Saint Gregory the Great on my way to the police station to seek employment.
If any of you men are worthy to be called vampire hunters, I recommend you go visit that Church. For it the ultimate vampire infested Catholic Church I ever saw. And I am willing to do free tour guides of this vampire infested Church.
Just call my number: 562-391-3194. That is my personal phone number. And the website of this Church is simply here.
I provide tour guides to this Church only when they have Masses. And if you think you are worthy to receive the Lord at this Church, then you are welcome to accompany me up to receive communion there. But let me make this clear. No one in my tour guide will do any damage to this Church. And everyone in my tour will give complete respect to all the vampires they see there.
You might even see that very beautiful dark haired woman in the pews there. When you see her, look at her, but do not approach her. Only respond to her if she asks you something. For that girl is the classic vampire beauty that vampire movies are not complete without.
Also, understand this. This is a real Catholic Church. The priest serving there is a real Catholic priest. And so Canon law remains in full effect. Whoever hits a priest incurs automatic excommunication.
Now, I have only one Toyota Corolla to my name. And you will pay me nothing. But feel free to donate whatever you wish into their collection baskets in a Sunday Mass.
I can take you to as many masses as you want to see in a day. Just remember Catholic Law requires no more than two acts of receiving communion in two separate masses. Hence, once I have received communion twice that day, I will not approach the priest to receive communion again until the next day.
Now, one last thing I wish to say. Hyacinth, if you are out there, I offer you this:
I am willing to give you another chance to be my wife, but under this one non-negotiable condition: Our relationship will no longer be on the basis of me giving money to you.
This completes this post. I have to go now. Amen.