Chronicles of Eternity, Book 1: Post XX:
Mary, Most Exalted Empress of Creation! O’ My Love! It is so wonderful to hear it raining outside as I write this post, O’ Holiest of all Queens! What sayest Thou, O’ Most Virgin of Maids? You, the silliest girl to ever be granted a crown, what do you now have me write, O’ Commandress?
I will find it most enjoyable walking to Church this morning, even if it is raining cats and dogs! And I will be totally unconcerned about lightning, even if it were to strike the buildings on either side of my path to the Church.
Mary, I, Eric, cannot be the one who writes this whole post! You have to say something! I would most like to meet Anna once again, before Your Son returns. But without you guiding me what to say to her, I am not sure what exactly I will be saying.
Mary, you are most silent today. The rain is louder than you, Mary! Well at least you permitted me to obtain from that girl her exact age. For now, I know I am not breaking any law by talking to her. I had previously thought that she was just 15 years old, not merely by her looks alone, but also by the knowledge that it was when you yourself were 15, that that was when you conceived Jesus.
Mary, I know you were fully developed when you conceived Jesus. For you told me that you had a single period. And then after that the Archangel Gabriel appeared to you to announce your pregnancy with Jesus. And your flesh never had any further periods.
Mary, if you do not stop me, I think I shall reveal every secret you ever told me. Man, you do not even speak to me to command me not to do this?
So, let us now proceed exactly how and in what way was Mary was romantically involved with me. Mary, I am telling them everything.
Fuck! No reply!
At least we are getting rain from heaven.
Also, I know this, O’ Holy Queen. I am one person you shall not kill. For without me, God would never have granted you the power you now possess. And if you were to ever let me die, God would immediately take from you everything He gave to you.
Hence, I know I can tell the entire world everything that ever was about us. All I know is that I must obey you when you speak. But that requires you to speak.
But if you are no longer speaking, I guarantee you this. Every secret you ever gave me I shall now reveal. And then I will publish this last post from you precisely at 6:00 AM.
Ok, world, here goes:
The Complete Secrets of Mary
So, let us now begin. Just how did I ever become acquainted with this one who is bodily in heaven? In fact, this one has said that when I fuck my wife Anna, which can only be done in a sacramental marriage, the Virgin Mary will also be fucking me as well, but in heaven. And thus, the ejaculation will then enter them both. And both bitches will somehow conceive at the exact same time.
And both these virgins thus are deflowered at the same time that they both deflower me. Hence, three virgins will be deflowered at the same exact moment. And I also know the exact date this first act of sex occurs.
The Wedding has to happen on Mary’s most holiest feast day, the Feast Day of the Immaculate Conception. And it has to happen exactly on the year 2022. And according to Mary, that is exactly one year after Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke becomes installed at the 267th pope, taking the name of Pope John XXIV.
I asked Mary if there were restrictions on marriages in the season of Advent. And Mary could not be more clearer. A couple properly prepared and properly predisposed has the full right to choose any date of the year they so desire to be wed on, with the exception of Good Friday and Holy Saturday alone. Apparently Mary says marriages should not be restricted in any way, except according to the law.
O’ Yes, and listen to this. Concerning homosexuals, Mary told me this. The homosexual has the full capability of making himself heterosexual, just as the alcoholic has the full capability of drinking no more alcohol. The bottom line is that homosexuals do not enter heaven. But the homosexual who is actively attempting to make his orientation correctly aligned, this one cannot be condemned for the sins that proceed from his disorder. For those sins in that man are no longer his fault.
Pope Benedict XVI resigned by the order I, Eric, gave him. And I ordered him to resign when he ruled that homosexual men may use condoms in their acts of sodomy with one another. And that one deed has served to tarnish his entire legacy as pope.
Okay, now about the twin pregnancies between my wife Anna on the earth, and my wife Mary in heaven. Both of these bear to term completely healthy babies, both born on the exact same day. Anna gives birth to a son, and gives him the name John. Mary in heaven gives birth to a daughter, and gives her the name of Sarah.
Both of these women breastfeed their babies from their respective places, Anna with me on earth, and Mary beyond the veil in heaven.
But when the girl in heaven is weaned, Mary brings this girl to earth. And she is placed with her future husband, John. And then all of heaven will be rapturous as they behold the two toddlers play with one another.
And I am not entirely sure if this is the case or not, but apparently these two toddlers will remain the two youngest people in the entire world until they reach the age in which they are permitted to marry one another. And then all future offspring on the earth is derived from them.
Because, sex will continue to be permitted between lawfully married men and women. but no sperm can penetrate any egg, so no new children can ever be conceived again except through John and Sarah and their descendants.
Okay, I just now finished eating. I finished eating a precisely 5 AM. Mass is precisely at 6:30 AM. So, given the requirement that one hour pass between the last actual food you ingest and the time you ingest the communion is totally fulfilled by me.
Anyways, I now have to say something that happened that is so terrible. We in fact have two fig trees in our backyard. They are the same species of a king of black fig that I got from Monrovia Nurseries while I was working there as in intern in the summer of 1996. And by the way, that must be around the time Anna, my predestined wife, was born, for she says she is now 25, and the current year we are in is 2021.
Anyways these fig trees grew very successfully in our backyard. However, my Dad, who knows absolutely nothing about horticulture, has severely hacked and destroyed the fig tree that is closer to the clothes line. And my Dad cannot be instructed with anything at all. For I once observed a humming bird’s nest in the Ginkgo Tree I had planted there in the backyard myself. And in that nest I observed more than one humming bird egg. I took my father there to that tree made him see the nest and the eggs. And I told him, do not cut that branch.
And the next day, the branch was gone. And my Dad would only respond with a kind of laughing stupidity saying, “Are you sure?” when I confronted him about what he had done.
And my mother is no better as regards to the Alzheimer’s that now completely consumes both of my parent’s minds. For exactly one week ago from today, I chose to be late going to work to get all of my Dad’s unpaid bills paid. And the last thing I had to do for them was to take my Dad to AAA to get his fucking AAA membership renewed and fucking Auto Insurance renewed. This is only so that I can drive their car for them when I take my Dad or Mom somewhere that they need to go.
My fucking mother’s Driver License has been expired since May 9. 2021, and she is convinced in her utter Alzheimer’s that COVID-19 restrictions permit her to continue to drive. Anyways, I finally came to the realization that my mother, herself, is totally consumed by Alzheimer’s when all the receipts and proofs of insurance I had obtained last Monday with my Father there with me writing and signing his checks to pay his bills at AAA, I had left in her possession, which she insisted that I do, so that my father does not lose them, she now has no memory whatsoever of even being given them.
And so, my friends, with the auto insurance on my parents’ car, while truly insured for another year, I must now go this Saturday, the nearest day I have off, back to AAA with my father, to have them fucking reprint all the receipts and proofs of insurance that my Alzheimer’s mother has somehow managed to make completely hidden somewhere in the house. And I must do this on that exact day, because the following day is August 1, 2021, the day that the proof of insurance in the glove compartment of my parent’s car expires. And AAA is closed Sunday. And my employers do not want me to be late anymore to work.
Anyways, that is what I am living with. But the tragedy I wish to speak of concerns the two fig trees in my backyard.
Both fig trees do produce abundant figs. Thought the fig tree farther from the clothes line is very larger, because it was hacked much less by my father.
I was commanded by God a few days ago to go and find a ripe fig on that fig tree. And I searched everywhere. For I did not want the fig tree that failed Jesus to fail again. And every fig I could find anywhere on those fig trees were green. But I did find a dried black fig, and I tried to eat it. But it was utterly too dried. And I was forced to spit it out of my mouth. And I used the hose in my hand to wash with water all of that dried inedible fig out of my mouth.
Man, Israel had failed a second time. Anna did not fail me. But Israel failed God. Yes, and I remember the date that this test occurred. It occurred on Friday, July 23, 2021, the date I spoke with Anna after Mass and found out from her that she was no 15 year old girl, but a fully adult 25 year old woman.
And why is July 23 so significant, you ask? I will now tell you. It was starting on Sunday, July 23, 2017, that Mary came to me and began to speak to me. The Age of Mary began on that date. And on the 77th day of the Age of Mary, on Saturday, October 7, 2017, I met Caesar Sandra Nikee, the one I would eventually adopt as my own daughter and give to her the name of Hyacinth.
And all the iTunes Cards, Steam Wallet Cards, and forms of embezzling money to that girl was done as mandated by Mary, who told me that if I failed to provide for this girl I would not be saved. So I embezzled thousands to this girl in Nigeria, a girl who now speaks to me using an American phone number on an iPhone she bought in Nigeria. But at least I did nothing illegal. For I know well the law. Embezzling is only a crime if the money embezzled was illegally obtained. And all the money I sent to this girl that Mary mandated that I accept as my daughter I legally obtained from the work Mary gave me as head of IT at DollarStore, LLC.
And now I think I must prepare to publish this post. Mary is still utterly silent. And this post has to be published at exactly 6 AM. Okay, This is the final post I think I will have from Mary. I am now going to send it. Amen.