The Word of God, Book 1: Post III:
Eric, the girl I am sending you shall be beautiful. And she will enjoy having sex with you. And she has elected a ring of blue diamonds to grace her finger to signify to all others that she belongs to you. And you shall easily buy it for her. For it is no different to the price of the computers that you buy all the time new from store.apple.com. And all the computers you use are Macs.
Eric, you did not choose her. Rather, she chose you. And now she has laid her solid claim. You shall live together as husband and wife. But you shall never bother with any formal legal arrangement. For you and her are above all law. You and her are not subject to law.
Eric, the girls you have wed wish to choose their place of honeymoon. And six are these girls. Six have become your wives, all of them bosom friends. All with all six shall you vaginally consummate your marriage to on the same night. All six have chosen blue diamond engagement rings, at all roughly the same price. And you shall purchase their chosen rings for them all. For you are indeed now flush with cash. For We have now taken away those We found unworthy. And you have inherited riches.
Eric, there never was a law from God that said a man could not have more than one wife. The law was only that a woman could not have more than one husband. You now have six wives. In Our eyes these weddings have occurred. Do not bother to jump through hoops at any church to essentially beg men who never marry to approve of your weddings. For they know not the first thing about love. For they killed the love that was once possible for then to be made a priest. No priest who is celibate is ever saved. For by what basis does a man devoid of female love say to God, ‘Lord, let me in, for I know love,’? And the priests go about the land performing meaningless sacraments, which in reality never existed.
Does the priest who consecrates the bread truly transform it into the flesh of God? Rather, he moves it about his hands and then puts it into his mouth, feels no change, and yet thinks something has happened. And why does he think something has happened? He has to think this, or else it undermines his entire profession. For what has he been doing all these years before all the people, if all he has been handing out to them is bread? Surely there must be something about that bread. Surely he has been doing something besides hold up bread to God and say, “Here, this is my sacrifice!”
Surely a man of such rigor and learning has gotten something in return for giving up the possibility of having and knowing a wife. Surely some benefit comes to him when he eats bread, which he now calls the body, after every sacrifice of the Mass in which he has offered up to God bread and wine in exchange for a forgiveness of sins. Surely God forgives at least one sin in exchange for a few wafers and a jug of cheap wine. Surely God has blessed that assembly gathered together to watch a man offer bread and wine to God. For what else are they gathered there for? What else are they looking at? There is your God, O’ people! Yes, there He is! A wafer of bread.
For most holy is the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper. O’ how holy it must be to be filled by one wafer that you can barely taste! People go to that Mass fasting. And when they leave it, they still need to eat. For a wafer of bread, no matter what you believe it is, doesn’t fill you. You leave Mass just as hungry as you were when you entered it. Tell Me, Father, have you really so received a feast at any of your Masses such that you did not have to eat your normal meals? And if not, by what basis is it called a feast? Would it even qualify to be called a snack?
Why use all these words for things that you never see or experience happening? Does saying that something exists makes it exist? Does believing something is there make it there? Father, you have spent all these years offering bread to God when you could have been enjoying a wife and having children. Did you really receive anything back that was worth not knowing that woman who loved you? For who really was the one who called you to enter there? Who really was the one who called you away from her who truly loved you and from knowing her love? Did you really find any greater good in all your profession as a priest that in any way compensated from not knowing that woman and having her child? It is not too late. You can still return to her. For what good has the Church been to you that it denied you from your love? Go to her. If she is a nun, go to her and sleep with her. Do not deny yourselves from each other any longer. And realize nothing of any Church ever had any real existence. For finding God was never about going to Mass. No, finding God can only be accomplished outside a Church in a place where one has solitude in which he can truly commune with God. For God is only found while by oneself. And you cannot find him by worshipping statues. No, only out in the wilderness, only there shall it be that you can truly find Him.
For from now on, all monks and priests and bishops will abandon the Church and return to the one that they loved. And all nuns shall now receive the men that they loved, but were denied from knowing, because something said they were to be holy and suffer and to never know joy. And what is it with the Church’s constant teaching that you must suffer? Did you know that the most common so called mortal sins priests hear in the confessional have to do with the failure to abstain from love? And then the priests give to them as their remedy that they speak words. And then they make a motion with their hand and are then dismissed. And now they can go out of the confessional assured that they will not be sent to hell for their failure to kill all love in their soul. And that My friends is the most holy sacrament of reconciliation. For you are now reconciled to God because you told another man about your masturbations in the night.
For it is very important that people receive forgiveness for their sins. For at any moment you might masturbate, and now you are no longer worthy to partake in that holy wafer the priest now offers up to God. And somehow you must keep track of all your masturbations. For if you leave one out, all that telling of the man behind the veil of the things you do in the dark will have been in vain. And the priests recommend that one must regularly confess. For it is very important that the priests are all aware of how everyone in the Church is failing to suppress their yearnings for love.
But the most holy ecstasy in the Church to behold that wafer exposed! Imagine that! A wafer exposed for all to see! For such holy sights as these can only be found in a Church. For everything is centered around the wafer, and in telling the priest that you masturbate. For this, My friends, is the sacramental life of the Church.
And never forget that holy water! You have to be a very special man indeed to have the ability to bless water, and thereafter, that water has some effect. O’ there is nothing like having holy water in the house! For it protects you against vampires and werewolves and all other beasts that are known to roam the world. For somehow by throwing that water at your wall you are now safe. No devil or demon would dare to trespass in that room at the sight of water dripping down your wall. Yes, you are now safe. The water has made you safe. Now you can sleep easy in the night, free of temptation, unless you masturbate again. And if that happened, somehow the devil managed to get past all those defenses of water. What you need is more holy water!
And what of the man called to the diaconate? You, man, are called to holiness. For so holy is your calling that you may sleep with the wife you have. But should she die, now you must deny yourself love. For all holiness in the Church centers around the denial of love. Kill that love inside you so that you may enter heaven, and lead by your example, others to kill their loves too. For worship in the Church is centered around killing one’s love. And the deader you have made yourself to love, the holier you are, and the more highly esteemed are you among all your brethren. For there is nothing more holy in the Catholic Church than to say no to the one who offers you love.
What love remains, then, in Catholicism, now that you have achieved holiness? Now that you have made yourself dead to love? For where is this love? Do you feel love? Or is it rather that now that you have killed all love, all you have left is lust?
Do not kill her O’ consecrated man. Do not kill that cry for love. Leave what has bound you to death and called it holiness, and return to the one you love. For is not love for a woman more real to you than a thousand offers of bread to God? Did you ever taste in any of your communions with bread any greater joy than you had with the lips of a woman? This bread is dead. Realize it. There is no God in it. You have been worshipping bread and telling men about your masturbations. For is not that, and nothing else, all you have done in the Catholic Church?
For of what value is holiness if it means that you do not get to have and know love? And what fool calls that holy? For has anything been achieved because you resisted in making love to your wife? The gospel preached in the Catholic Church is of death, not of love. Following Catholicism leads you to die, not to find happiness. For none of the teachings of the Church nor the scriptures came from God. Rather, they were all from the devil, leading men away from love that their soul might die, and he claim them for hell. This is the Word of the Lord. Publish it, Eric, for you have completed it.