Emerald Trove, Book 15: Post CL:
Eric, what is your decision? Dost thou believe I Am Who Am? Or dost thou doubt My Word unto thee? I believe in You, O’ Lord. I know that You are the One Who is the I Am. Good, lord Azurite. Now I shall render My Judgement on you. For your days are at their end. You are to die tonight. That I promised you the priesthood was only to test your resolve to do My will and to abide by the vocation that I chose for you. You have now passed this test. And I shall now give you the keys to your eternal Kingdom. And your Kingdom is as a realm within Mine. For I Am King of kings, Lord of lords, and God of gods. No spirit and no entity surpasses My glory. I Who Am have spoken.
Now, speak, lord Azurite. When did I say unto thee that thou shalt die? Tonight, O’ Lord, You have said I breathe my last in this world. Good, your memory is sharp and powerful. Now listen to Me. Many people will regret their words and actions to you after your passage from this world is made known to all who once knew you. Dost thou forgive any of them that may have transgressed agains thou, lord Azurite? I do forgive them, O’ Lord. I bear no grudge against any soul.
And so it was that you did not sue the doctor that so damaged you by his mistake all those years ago. For you regarded it as coming from Me and not as coming from a man. The reason why you remained living with your parents for all these years was due to the crippling handicap that this cross you were given to bear forced you to drastically limit what you could do in the world. And you told no one about it. You wrote about in in the fourteen unpublished books of the Emerald Trove, in which you record your requests to God for a cure, and God’s response unto thee. And through all these years there is recorded your waited for the cures, recorded in all fourteen handwritten books of the Emerald Trove.
And during that long wait, you converted to Catholicism and entered the into full communion with My pope in Rome. And you studied theology and the writings of the Church fathers. And you studied the scriptures. And you read classics, like The Lord of the Rings and Uncle Tom’s Cabin. And decades passed as you patiently waited for the cures promised unto thee. You went to no girl, for no girl was sent to you by God. For every girl that appeared, I told you that she was not the one. And you obeyed Me and did not approach her.
And now you ask, what was all this for? Why were you waiting for a girl you were never to receive in order to receive the cures I never gave to you? Lord Azurite, I gave you your cross so that you would develop the fruit I wished to harvest from you. And by bearing your cross for Me, the fruit that is in you is now ripe. I Am now going to harvest you. For the harvest time has come for your soul. You bore your cross faithfully. And in so doing, your cross bore you. And you were borne into My Kingdom. Amen.
My promise unto you that you would receive your cures when you were to come to be with the correct girl was a trick. For it shall never come to pass in this world, but in the next. I Who Am have spoken.
Lord, that girl Danielle who briefly befriended me, and then abandoned me, she was very intrigued about finding out what that ailment was that so crippled me. And I never told her, promising to tell her only when the cures were received. Let her read about it in the fourteen books of Emeralogy that are still kept secret. For it has been decreed by Eric Robert Dunstan that all his writings are hereby released to the public domain. The heirs to his estate do not inherit any of his writings.
What they do inherit, I do not know. For I believe that the state of California will raid his account and all his liquid assets upon his death to reclaim all the monetary value of the benefits he received in all the medical treatments given to him by the welfare he was entitled to receive as someone very poor. You are correct, lord Azurite.
And note how My Word will have come to pass. You will not become responsible for funding any abortions by paying your income taxes by the simple fact that you are dying tonight and coming to Me well prior to the date that filing federal income taxes becomes mandated by the IRS.
And Eric, there was someone, an elderly lady, whom you overheard saying to another older woman regarding observing you praying in the Churches., saying, “He should be working somewhere.” Let it be known to all who thought such thoughts that Eric had no such options available to him. All he could do was to walk to Church each day and receive communion and pray to God there. There was no means that Eric possessed at that time to attain a form of employment. For Eric had truly been handicapped. He kept his handicaps secret. but they truly hindered him in acquiring a means of employment.
Hence, Eric could not move out of his parents house. Eric could not get married. And Eric could not obtain employment. All he could do was to attend Church and to worship Christ there, pray rosaries, and seek his solutions in God.
And when Eric did finally obtain a job, he was forced to work at very low pay, even though the work he did was highly technical computer work. And so a lady at Church once suggested to Eric that he take one of the pilgrimages to see the Holy Lands and various holy sites in Europe. And Eric responded to her that the cost was too expensive for him. And the lady responded to Eric, saying, “Save up for them, and then you will be able to go.” Eric did not have the heart to tell her that saving up for it was an impossibility for him. And also Eric did not tell her that even if he were to somehow save up the money, he could not go due to his hidden handicaps.
Many were those who misunderstood Eric. And many were those who spoke to Eric making assumptions that were not true. There is a movie Eric watched long ago in his childhood that stuck in his mind. It was a live action Disney movie. And it concerned a blind horse who lived his entire life in the mines. And at the end of the movie, the mines were about to blow up, and it was remembered that that horse was still in the mines. And someone decided to go back and get him. But someone stopped him, putting his hand on his shoulder. And then, right after that, the mines blew up. And the horse who had never known sunlight, died there in the mines he had been in all his life. Such is a movie that has stuck in Eric’s mind since he saw it as a child. Amen.
Let it be known that Eric will die a virgin. And he has kissed a girl only one time in his life, some several months after his gradation from Whittier College in 1993. That girl was Victoria Abigail Martinez, who was a Mexican American. Their friendship ended when she irrevocably chose to leave the Catholic Church as Eric entered in. Eric last spoke to her in 2003, his last memorial words to her being, “At least they go to Church,” referring to the young mothers who with their children attended Church. Victoria could not take holy rebuke. Victoria’s last words to Eric were, “Goodbye, Mister Perfect.” And three years later, on Mother’s Day of 2006, Victoria completed her separation from God and became a permanently failed soul, as Mary revealed to him in a vision of an dying orb of orange light.
Actually, Eric went through life without having any real friendships. Like a ship passing through the oceans and never sighting land, did Eric’s ship pass through his life. The real reason why Eric kept his virginity and remained celibate all these years was that he never was with a woman long enough for any real relationship to develop between them. And Eric did not want to lose his virginity outside of marriage and have bastard children. Lord that girl who was promised never came? That promised girl never came, O’ Lord. But I was unworthy of her. And by my unworthiness I never received her. This is my testimony unto Thee, O’ Lord, as to why I never married.
It is correct that no girl has ever come to thee. But let it be said who were those few girls that you did, once, long ago, have crushes for. In grade school, Eric had a very strong crush for a blonde girl called Jeannie Musgrove. But that ended when she pinched him and he stepped on her foot. That was his only crush as a child.
In high school, Eric had a strong crush for a girl called Catherine Jackson, with whom he walked together one day, as they were both walking their dogs. That day is remembered in vivid detail. The sun was setting, and it was most beautiful. And Eric, looking up to the heavens saw a vision of Jesus smiling and sitting on His throne in that gorgeous sunset. The other thing Eric remembers is that the temperature was freezing cold. Shortly after that day, Eric fell sick on February 2, 1989, and did not return to high school. Instead, Eric suffered a massive nervous breakdown and was diagnosed manic depressive. He recovered from that breakdown, completed his high school that summer, and then went onto Whittier College that autumn. But that girl rejected him after coming to know what happened with him.
The only other true crush Eric ever had, the third one, was for a girl called Sandra Lynn Hoelz, whom he met while working in the California Conservation Corps after graduating from College, and partaking in Americorps to pay off his student loans. His heart was truly in love with her, but her rejection of him was to him as a great tree that was snapped in half. It was a clean break that his heart suffered. A complete and total broken heart. And from that point onward, Eric never again had any true crush for any woman.
Then how did he get involved with Hyacinth, someone asks? Though Eric loves her, he does not have any crush for her. Rather, see Eric’s love for Hyacinth as agape love, not eros love. Eric loves her as part of his loving God.
Lord, I have now revealed the secrets of my heart in this post. What happens if I do not die tonight as You have said to me, but I find myself still alive come Tuesday morning. Then, lord Azurite, I will permit you to depart from My company for I will be false, will I not? Lord, I cannot leave You. Then follow Me and believe My Word unto thee that you are dying tonight. Lord, I am ready to die. Good. Your breath shall leave you in the night. You shall die of heart attack. For many are the afflictions that you bear. Go now and take your rest. You have revealed enough to the people of this world. Go and rest. And publish this post, for it is complete. Amen.